01. Your
Genius Hands
02. Sick
& Tired
03. The
Laughing World
04. Fire
Maple Song
05. Pennsylvania
Is…
06. Nervous
& Weird
07. Malevolent
08. Sparkle
09. Trust
Fund
10.
Loser Makes Good
11.
Invisible
12.
Evergleam
Your Genius Hands
I have seen your shake
and I know what it cost you.
I have heard your words
now I am big on your noise.
My eyes aren't big enough
because I can't see your hands.
I can't see what you hold.
I am growing now
as I watch you fade.
Now I know what you know
and I'll break the chains that you have
made.
These chains you've made for me.
I will pull you down.
I know I'll fail in style.
I long to touch your genius hands.
I am growing now as I watch you fade.
Now I know what you know
and I'll break the chains that you have
made.
These chains you've made for me.
I will pull you down.
I know I'll fail in style.
I will, I swear.
I'm gonna shake your genius hands.
Sick & Tired
I break every day,
stressed out in every kind of way.
I am sick and tired of being sick and
tired.
All I need and crave
is a loud life with the power to fade.
I am living because I keep it all inside.
Love don't work for me,
I want women who are out of my reach.
I am sick and tired of living all alone.
All I need for sure
is a big love with the power to make more.
I am living because I keep it all inside.
I know I'm close to the fall, I know I'm dangerous, I'm afraid I'm going down.
I blame my family,
their damage is living in me.
I am sick inside and tired of my life.
All I need, I swear, is to go out with
the power of a nightmare.
I am living because I keep it all inside.
I know I'm going to the fall, I know I'm dangerous, I know I'm not going down alone.
I keep it all inside.
I know I'm close to the fall, I know I'm dangerous, I know I'm not going down alone.
The Laughing World
Right now, day one,
I fall soft when I fall I always fall
on.
Face first, head down, eyes closed, arms
out to break my fall.
We fall down
like a world of noise.
We get lost inside the length of our own
time . . .
and the laughing world will never forget
it's when you jam
that I jet.
I jet.
I see, I want, I reach, I fail to hold
the things that I need.
I turn, I reach for you,
I want to touch our life before it fades
like a burning car in the sun.
We flame for the all in plain view . .
.
and the laughing world will never forget
it's when you jam that I jet.
The laughing world will never forget it's when you jam that I jet.
Fire Maple Song
Turn away from the pain you don't want.
Turning down to avoid them when they call.
Strange words I heard a long, long time
ago.
I wish I could go back to a summertime
I knew more than twenty years ago.
Lay between the sheets,
lie underneath the maple tree.
Now I can't smile.
Lying down in the grass with the wind around
us as we smile and talk.
Listen to your Grandma sing those country
songs.
She'd tell us how the maple turns to fire
every four years.
We'd lay in the grass all summer just
to watch the autumn come around . . .
I can't smile.
Now I live alone
and you're so far away.
I call you every year
just around the holiday.
I still see you in the night lying above
me in the grass . . .
I can't smile.
Turn away from the pain you don't want.
Turning down to avoid them when they call.
I can't believe this letter that says
you died.
I think I'm gonna go back to the house
in North Carolina and lay in the backyard,
get drunk and let the leaves just bury
me,
bury me . . .
I can't smile.
I don't know what's happened to me, I
don't know what's happened to me . . .
I can't smile.
Pennsylvania Is . . .
Jackson met a girl in a valley town,
they fell into a teenage love she'd grow
to hate.
He's in prison now
since he beat her down.
He got her pregnant and she made it go
away.
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
Pennsylvania.
I got a card today from a girl I know,
she used to live alone in Philadelphia.
She had to leave the state for a choice
she made.
She says she feels just like a hostage
in her home.
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
Pennsylvania.
You can close your eyes,
you can fall and die.
You can make your laws and make it go
away.
You can close your eyes,
but you can't make it go away.
You know, I got a call from my uncle Mike.
He said he left his wife and he ain't
going back.
Said she changed her mind about a child
desire.
I asked him if he wants a placemat or
a wife.
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
Pennsylvania . . .
is wrong!
Nervous & Weird
You know I want to be the way you want
me to.
Big hearted and tall enough to cover you.
I would break in half
if you said it out loud.
Splinter out of myself just like mercury.
I think it's better now
than how it used to be.
You were lying in bed and I would levitate.
I think it's better here,
than where we used to be.
I wish I could go out into the Oregon
sun . . .
to be alive in the day . . .
I'd smile at everyone.
I remember you back in '83,
you were dressing insane, you were my
everything.
You were so different from all those other
girls,
a blind Electra in drag, so cool and casually
lame.
I think I'm better now than how I used
to be.
Always nervous and weird, scared most
of the time.
I think it's better now than how it used
to be.
Always up in the night afraid to live
in the day,
afraid of being afraid.
Now I sit alone when you're not around,
I read aloud just to hear a friendly voice.
I see your scary dolls.
They always look at me.
From the corner of my eyes I see them
shake their heads.
You know I want to be the way you want
me to.
Big hearted and tall enough to cover you.
You know I want to be the way you want
me to.
I wish I could go out to be alive in the day.
Malevolent
Maybe I went too far this time.
I just go crazy
when she says no.
Angel turns away,
pulls her dress back down,
slowly washes her face,
takes the bus to her job downtown.
She said,
"I'm OK,
don't worry about me."
Now she thinks to herself,
"Hey what happened to me?"
I told him that I thought it was over,
told him that I wanted to leave.
He used to touch me so nice
when we first met.
I never dreamed he would hit me,
I never dreamed he would hold me down.
She said,
"Don't worry about me,
I won't worry about you.
I don't want to be friends."
She said, "I'm OK,
just leave me alone."
She said, "I'm OK,
don't worry about me,
I don't want to be friends.
Just leave me alone."
Sparkle
I remember when you seemed
real shiny with the sweat of your voice,
shaky hands, super loud, and teenage mouth.
We were all charmed and taken by your
talk.
Now I shudder when I hear the rhythm of
your walk.
Now I've got no place to go,
I've got no place to go.
I've got no one,
nowhere,
no one.
I have given up on the sparkle that I
saw in you.
I have sinned the sin of wanting more.
The belly fire pulls the spirit from the
corporate whore.
I'm embarrassed by the plaid you wear.
If I were you I'd hide behind that stupid
bleach blonde hair.
Now I've got no place to go,
I've got no place to go.
I've got no one,
nowhere,
no one.
I have given up on the sparkle that I
saw in you.
Yeah, that simple minded sparkle that
I thought I saw.
I have wondered why you changed.
I liked it when you were super loud.
Now I've got nowhere to go,
I've got no place to go.
I've got no one,
nowhere,
no one.
Now I've got no place to go,
I've got no place to go.
I've got no one,
nowhere,
no one,
nowhere,
no one.
I have given it up and given in.
Are you giving in?
Why you giving in?
Tell me how you're giving in.
Trust Fund
I know a couple who are in love living
in the best of times, a truer true love you will never know.
Next to a pain they'll never realize.
Sheltered from it in a loving glow.
Young and happy and oh-so politically
correct.
Just get it if you need it now,
just buy it if you need it in your life.
Don't you worry if it all runs out,
don't worry because it never will.
I know a young girl living in the shadow
of
the kind of life that she could never
know.
She takes it all and gives it back in
love
to handsome artists in her native state.
She is the angel of the loser and the
disenchanted soul.
Just get it if you need it now,
just buy it if it makes you happy.
Don't you worry if it all runs out,
don't worry because it never will.
I know a couple who are in love living in the best of times.
Loser Makes Good
I hate waking up,
it means I have to die again tonight.
35 years old and I'm still sleeping outside.
Yeah, I think I know your face.
I don't want to know your name.
I won't give in.
I'm not like that.
I won't give in.
You say it's Christmas Eve.
That don't mean nothing to me.
Just another fucked up day,
just another waste of time.
You wonder why I live like this. Man,
you just won't understand.
I won't give in,
I'm not like that.
I won't give in.
You smart ass college fuck.
Act like you think you're tough.
I was just like you,
had more pride than you could know.
You think you pity me.
Hey, I'll kick your ass if you pity me.
I won't give in.
I'm not like that.
No, I won't give in to you.
Just go away.
You college boys act like you think you're
tall.
I won't give in,
I'm not like that.
No, I won't give in.
Invisible
I will live.
I will live.
Maybe for a year or two.
Maybe for a year.
I will die,
yes I will die,
I can rest secure in that.
I am awful sure that this ain't no accident.
I just can't believe that AIDS is just
some act of God.
I will reach for you,
I will reach my hand.
No one will reach for me,
no one will touch my skin.
Yes, I will accept.
I will accept my pain.
I don't deserve to die like this,
no one deserves to die like this.
Yeah, I get so mad that I just want to
break the world.
Sometimes I get so mad I just want to
break the world.
I will not be denied,
I will not be ignored.
I am not invisible anymore.
I will not be denied,
I will not be ignored.
I'm real,
I won't go away,
I am not invisible anymore.
Sometimes I get so mad I just want to
break the world.
Yeah, I get so mad that I just want to
break the world.
Evergleam
Evergleam and I know why
God is good, and Jesus loves me.
Heaven lives and I know where.
Sounds to me
a not so easy chair.
Falling free and living now,
stringing out and over and happy.
Evergleam and I know why it isn't real,
and I'm not going to break.
Don't die, don't give in to it,
no way, no way, no way. Please don't leave
me.
Evergleam and I know how pulling hair and
breaking voices.
Giving in won't stop the noise.
Spinning wills don't give you choices.
Give away the spark inside,
give away the shining prize.
Evergleam and I know how it isn't real
and I'm not going to break.
No way, I'm not going to break.
Evergleam,
everywhere,
ever weird,
everyone,
evergleam,
everywhere,
evergleam.
I'm not going away.
I won't see you there, I'm not going away.
I'm not going to break.
No way, I'm not going to break.
It's not real, I'm never gonna break.
No way.