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S P A R K L E   a n d   F A D E

01. Electra Made Me Blind
02. Heroin Girl
03. You Make Me Feel Like A Whore
04. Santa Monica
05. Summerland
06. Strawberry
07. Heartspark Dollarsign
08. The Twist Inside
09. Her Brand New Skin
10. Nehalem
11. Queen Of The Air
12. Pale Green Stars
13. Chemical Smile
14. My Sexual Life

back to the Lyrics page

Electra Made Me Blind 
Go, go, go, go.
I shake the dust from this small town,
I turn and follow the western wind down.
I go and pack up my shiny things
and go, yeah just go.

I'll find a new life in old L.A.
Yeah, stupid and happy with everything.
I pulled myself down so easily.
I know, I know, I know.

I met Electra when living down,
saw her spinning around and around.
I never knew much about her past.
I knew enough that I didn't ask.
I know, I know, I know.

Living isn't a simple thing,
I know.
No one said it's supposed to be,
I know. Living isn't a simple thing for me.
I know ways to make it easier.
I know.

July she lied . . .

Living isn't a simple thing,
I know.
No one said it's supposed to be.
Living isn't a simple thing for me.
I know ways to make it easier.

Heroin Girl 
I used to know a girl . . .  she had two pierced nipples and a black tatoo.
We'd drink that Mexican beer,
we'd live on Mexican food.
Yeah, I wish I could go back. Yes, back in time.

Esther used to be the kind of girl that you would never leave.
She'd do anything to give me what I need for my disease.
She'd do anything.
I can hear them talking in the real world,
but they don't understand that I'm happy in hell with my heroin girl.

Esther used to be the kind of lover that you would never leave.
She'd do anything to give me what I need for my disease.
She'd do anything.
I can hear them talking in the real world,
but they don't understand that I'm losing myself in a white-trash hell.
Lost inside a heroin girl.

They found her out in the field about a mile from home.
Her face was warm from the sun but her body was cold.
I heard a policeman say "Just another overdose"
. . . just another overdose!

Esther used to be the kind of lover that you would never leave.
She'd do anything to give me what I need for my disease.
She'd do anything.

You Make Me Feel Like A Whore 
Go. (Do you want the money?)
I take your word like it was gospel,
I'm so eager to please.
Yeah, I like it when you talk to me.
It feels so good inside your shadow,
it's the place I need to be.
Yeah, you know I need to climb you like a tree.

There is this place inside, where all the good things die.
Sometimes I feel like whore.

I hate the way I am around you,
I'm so nervous and weird.
Sometimes I feel like I'm breathing underwater.
You treat me like I am on fire,
like I'm something to eat.
You make me hate what I see when I see me.

Yeah, I dream of the day
when I learn how to make you pay.
Someday I'll teach you to beg.
Someday,
someday.
Yes, I live for the day,
when I can hear you say, "You make me feel like a whore."
Yes, I dream of the time when I can make you mine.
Maybe then I'll feel half alive, more alive, so alive.
There is this place inside where all the good things die.
You make me feel like a whore.

Santa Monica 
I am still living with your ghost.
Lonely and dreaming of the west coast.
I don't want to be your downtime,
I don't want to be your stupid game.

With my big black boots and an old suitcase,
I do believe I'll find myself a new place.
I don't want to be the bad guy,
I don't want to do your sleepwalk dance anymore.
I just want to see some palm trees.
Go and try to shake away this disease.

We can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind,
swim out past the breakers,
watch the world die.

I am still dreaming of your face,
hungry and hollow for all the things you took away.
I don't want to be your good time,
I don't want to be your fall-back crutch anymore.

I'll walk right out into a brand new day,
insane and rising in my own weird way.
I don't want to be the bad guy,
I don't want to do your sleepwalk dance anymore.
I just want to feel some sunshine,
I just want to find some place to be alone.

We can live beside the ocean,
leave the fire behind,
swim out past the breakers,
watch the world die.

Summerland (here is one of my personal favorites)
Let's just drive your car,
we could drive all day.
Let's just get the hell away from here.
For I am sick again,
just plain sick to death,
of the sound of my own voice.

We could leave behind, another wasted year.
Just get some cheap red wine and just go flying.
We could do the things, all the things you wanted to.
No one cares about us anyway.

I think I lost my smile.
I think you lost yours too.
We have lost the power to make each other laugh.
Let's just leave this place
and go to Summerland.
Just a name on the map, sounds like heaven to me.

We could find a town, be just how we want to be.
No one here really cares about us anyway.
We could find a place, make it what we want to be.
No one really gives a fuck about us anyway.
We could live, live just how we want to live.
No one here really cares about us anyway.
We could be everything we want to be.
We could get lost in the Fall Glimmer Sparkle and Fade.

The Sparkle and Fade.
Fall Glimmer Sparkle and Fade.

Forget about our jobs at the record store.
Forget about all the losers that we know.
Forget about all the memories that keep you down.
Forget about them we could lose them in the Sparkle and Fade.
We could leave them behind
in the Sparkle and Fade.
 Yeah, Sparkle and Fade.
Fall Glimmer Sparkle and Fade.

Strawberry 
Never been here,
never coming back.
Never want to think about the things that happened today.
Want to lay down, on the warm ground.
I think I'm going to need,
a little time to myself.

Don't fall down now you will never get up.
Don't fall down now.

I ask you for a slow ride,
going nowhere.
You look like Satan,
you ask me if I want to get high.
Couple of bags down in old town.
You tie your arm
and ask me if I wanted to drive.
Don't fall down now you will never get up.
Don't fall down now.

The last thing I recall I was in the air.
I woke up in the street,
crawling with my strawberry burns.
Ten years long in a straight line.
They fall like water,
yes, I guess I fucked up again.

Don't fall down now you will never get up.
Don't fall down now.

Heartspark Dollarsign 
Time stops, when the whispers blare.
The voices drop hard,
but the eyes still stare.
The world resolves into a death-head grin,
because I walk with pride with a black girlfriend.

My mom said not to bring her around.
'Cause she's black my family would put her down.
I'll break, the white-trash ties that bind.
Trade a love so pure for a hate blind.

She said, she said, "Forget the fact that I don't look like you."
She said, she said, "You're possessed with a power, bigger than the pain."

Time stops, when we lie so close
in my room where we share what no one knows.
From the day that we start
until the day that we end.
I know, I know, I know now,
we will never find a place where we can just fit in.
Me and my black girlfriend.

She said, she said "Fend for yourself, you're alone."
She said, she said, "You're possessed with a power, bigger than the pain."
A power bigger than the pain.
Heartspark Dollarsign.

The Twist Inside 
We have been sleeping with the lights on
just about every night,
because we are afraid what the dark might bring.
I know, I know,
it's just a childish fear
that grows and grows while in the middle of me.

I'm gonna get a new tatoo,
black and stretching around my arm.
Like a life that is visible and real.
I know, I know,
it's stupid and immature.
I just want to give shape to the face that twists inside both you and me.
Breathing fire doesn't look good on a resume.
Neither does anything else we do.

We got to get ready for the real world.
Yeah yeah,
we got to grow up.

You know I like to die for awhile everyday in the afternoon.
I like to let the arms of a bar wrap around me tight.
I'm just going to sprawl in the front booth.
Big drink above my head,
cross-eyed and smiling as I watch the world go twisting by.

I don't want to die with you,
or live in the same dark room.
I don't want to see your bloodshot eyes no more,
no more.
I just want to take this girl,
all curls and big brown eyes.
Man, I can't take the pain of wanting her,
needing her.
I know the secret of your soul,
and I just don't want to know.

Yeah man, we got to grow up.
Na na na na.
Na na na na na.
I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't want to.
I can't take it.
I give up.

Her Brand New Skin 
She is everywhere I am.
Yeah, when I don't want her to be there.
I kinda want to leave in a hurry.
She's walking on the city heavy in her monster boots.

I hear her calling my name.
I hide behind the people that I want to be.
I hear her calling my name.
I can see the future when she tells me how it's going to be.

 She is perpetual Kathy.
All shake and happy in her brand new skin.
She is perpetual Kathy.
She is always the same.

She is everything that I'm not.
Strong and happy with the rhythm inside.
I do not want to be a broken record,
but I don't want to live in the shadow of a twelve-step.

I hear her calling my name.
Next thing you know I think I'll want to be a better man.
I hear her calling my name.
Yeah, I used to be a devil but they never seemed to give a damn.

She is perpetual Kathy.
All shake and happy in her brand new skin.
She is perpetual Kathy.
She is always the same.

Nehalem 
There is this rumor about.
They say you're leaving Nehalem.
Ever since our baby died, you've been seen with another guy.
The whole damn town is talking now.
They say you're leaving Nehalem.
Hey don't you want me to go?
Hey don't you want me?

They say you're losing your mind.
They say you're leaving Nehalem.
You know how the bad words get around.
Big noise in a hard small town.

Tell me if you want me to go.
Just tell me if you want me.
They say you're leaving Nehalem.
They say you're leaving me.

Yeah, I know I need to break away.
I don't give a fuck about what those people say.
I hope you find everywhere you go
all the things that you need to know.

They say you're losing your mind.
They say you're leaving Nehalem.
They say you're leaving me.
They say you're leaving Nehalem.
There is this rumor out.
They say you're leaving Nehalem.
They say you're leaving me.
They say you're leaving Nehalem.
I know you're leaving me.
I know you're leaving Nehalem.
I know you're leaving me.

Queen Of The Air 
There is a dream I used to have.
My dream swallowed me whole.
There is a bridge where I hate to go.
That is where I first saw her.

High on the bridge I see her red hair shining.

There is a girl I never knew.
She was my Aunt Virginia.
They say that she,
she just disappeared.
They said I look just like her.

High on the bridge I see her dancing waving to me there.
She smiled and raised her head then she took to the air.

There is a dream I can't escape.
My memories come back to me.
There is a hell that I can't escape.
My memories come back to me.

I heard the truth about it.
Pictures and headlines hidden away.
I heard the truth about my real mom,
jumping from the bridge that day.
Now I know why ever since I was 3 years old,
been having the same nightmare.
Now I know the truth about Virginia,
why she took to the air.

Pale Green Stars 
Amanda is in love with the sight of the moon.
She's got pale green stars in her room,
right above her bed.

Put them on her ceiling,
leave on the light.
When the sun goes down that the stars might shine.
Shining in the dark.

Skinny little girl in her room alone.
She's got hell to spare in her home,
if you can call it a home.

Doesn't want to be like anybody else.
When no one is around she talks to herself.
I can hear her in the night.

Hey, hey yeah.
It's hard on a girl
when the blood won't come when it ought to come.
It's hard on a girl
when you try to walk around on the shaky ground.
Hey, hey daddy's going away.

Scared little girl watching Aladdin on TV.
Amanda always cries when you yell at me.
Yeah, please don't yell at me.

Climb up all the stairs,
close the door.
Doesn't want to hear us fighting anymore.
Yeah, better call it a day.
Hey, hey yeah.

It's so hard on a young girl.
She thinks it's all her fault when it all goes wrong.
It's hard on a grown man, too.
To see my baby crying out the window calling out my name.
Hey, hey daddy's going away.

She's got pale green stars in her room.

Chemical Smile 

She lost her focus yesterday.
She lost her focus in the sun.
She sits and stares at it for hours.

She says she likes to go outside.
She gets hung up on the wind.
She gets lost inside the happy noise.

Sometimes I don't understand her.
Sometimes I don't want to understand her.

She says no, no, no, no.
She don't want no double life.
She says, "I should know why."
She seems happier at night.
Her color TV
and a chemical smile.
I don't want to know the reason.
I don't want to know the reason why.

She says Jesus owes her money.
She says the angels are her friends.
What the hell does that mean?

She's got the chemical smile.
She said . . .

My Sexual Life 
People you know try to tell you things.
Bad things that you don't want to hear about.
Tell you tomorrow what you did today.
Just remember it's a small town.
It's a real small town.

She gets tired of all the stupid boys.
She can't wait until they're done.
She wants a man who can take his time.
She wants someone who can make her come.
Yeah, can you make me come.

You always say you want a simple life.
You and me both know that you are a liar.
You always say you want a simple life.
Hearing you talk just makes me tired.

Swim in the heavy water buried in the sand.
Happy hearts fall from my shaky hands.
I can't hide my sexual life.

He always says he wants a special one,
but you watch his head go spinning around.
He really wants anyone who'll give it up.
He seems to forget he's in a small town.

You always say you never fuck around.
You say this town is just plain full of liars.
Yeah, you always say you never fuck around.
Hey, hearing you talk just makes me tired.

Swimming in the heavy water buried in the sand.
Happy hearts fall from my shaky hands.
I can't hide my sexual life.
No, no, no.
I can't hide my sexual life.
Yeah, yeah, swimming in the heavy water buried in sand.
Happy hearts fall from my stupid hands.
I can't hide my sexual life.
My sexual life.