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die gestapo, die!
tips from someone other than the master

Welcome to doodling 101. Here I will give you some basic techniques on how to draw comics in class without being caught. Grab a pencil and a notebook and lets begin.

Lesson 1: Can I Draw?
This is a simple yes or no question. Your answer should be yes. Unless you cannot draw stick figures, you can draw.

Lesson 2: Am I Funny?
Another simple question. Funny as in ha ha? no. Funny smelling? Funny looking? yes.

Lesson 3: Materials
Using the right materials is the key here. You should use simple materials such as pencils, erasers, and pens. Don't pull out your markers, crayons, and rulers, they just draw attention. I always use my pencil, so I can erase because I screw up a lot.

Lesson 4: Position
Your position in the classroom is important. The main rule is... the teacher is satan! treat him/her as if they are radioactive and sit as far away from them as possible.  Also it is better to sit away from nerds and near people who look like they smoke pot.  This way, no one cares about what the hell you are doing. If you sit right in front of the teacher, you have failed the course. Another important aspect is position yourself so you can see the whole classroom by glancing up. You don't need this if your teacher just sits at the computer and searches for porn.

Lesson 5: Cover
You know the old work that the teacher passes back to you? The shit you just throw away? Keep it. Use it as cover paper, put lots of crap on your desk. Put your binder on your desk and put papers all over the place.  People will just think you are a messy pig. Use the paper to cover your work.  If the teacher asks what all those papers are doing there just say something like "oh I am trying to calculate my grade because I am a responsible student" or some bullshit like that. You will also score suck up points. The best time to draw comics is during a long and boring lecture. It will look like you are taking notes and the teacher will think you are a dilligent student or something.

Lesson 6: Espionage
Know your teacher. If the teacher is mean and stingy, you will probably get shot if you are caught. If your teacher wouldn't give a shit even if there was a gang war in the back of the room, you can probably do whatever you want. Know where your teacher is at all times. Usually teachers have a pungent odor that surrounds them. You will know when the teacher is near by the death screams. When Satan nears, your comic should already be under the pile of work on your table.

Lesson 7: Plan
Before you do the comic, have a plot in your head. I tried to do it with just an idea and i got Yoda: LAPD which was total ass. It sucks when you have a good idea but the comic sucks ass. Can't think of any ideas? Do a movie parody. Need a bad guy? Hitler's here to save the day! After you plan it all out, you are ready for the next lesson.

Lesson 8: Drawing
Drawing is the easy part. Just don't make tiny frames so no one knows what the hell you are doing. Remember, cover your work and don't look suspicious. Make your characters easy to draw and remember... details are uneccessary. And please, don't make the speech bubbles coming from the character's mouth... it looks stupid, just draw the speech bubbles next to the character. uh... I was going to put tutorials on how to draw my characters but I'm too lazy.